The Bible is one source of information and wisdom that is understood and honoured by billions of people throughout the world because it is the mainspring of inspiration and moral orientation. But in its deep recesses is a delightful, frequently overlooked gem, humorous, as well as lighthearted, parts of the book.
Besides eternal values, the Bible also contains amusing elements, including riddles, funny expressions, and words of wisdom.
These Holy Bible passages of laughter are known in medicine as healing emotions and universal languages. In fact, it is a nice hint that studying Biblical wisdom should not be dry and lacking in humour at all. We should regard the moment as precious and chuckle together as we make progress spiritually.
Funny Stories from the Bible
Song of Songs 7:4 – Complimenting a Loved One’s Appearance
In this verse, the lover praises the beauty of their beloved’s nose, likening it to the majestic tower of Lebanon.
“Your nose is like the tower of Lebanon looking toward Damascus.”
2 Kings 9:20 – Describing Jehu’s Reckless Driving
A lookout reports Jehu’s reckless driving style, likening it to that of a maniac.
“The lookout reported, ‘He has reached them, but he isn’t coming back either. The driving is like that of Jehu son of Nimshi—he drives like a maniac.'”
Mark 9:34 – Disciples Argue Over Greatness
The disciples remain silent because they had been fighting among themselves about who was the greatest.
“But they kept quiet because on the way they had argued about who was the greatest.”
Acts 20:9-10 – Eutychus Falls Asleep During Paul’s Sermon
Eutychus falls asleep while Paul is preaching and falls out of a third-story window, but is miraculously revived by Paul.
“Seated in a window was a young man named Eutychus, who was sinking into a deep sleep as Paul talked on and on. When he was sound asleep, he fell to the ground from the third story and was picked up dead. Paul went down, threw himself on the young man and put his arms around him. ‘Don’t be alarmed,’ he said. ‘He’s alive!'”
1 Samuel 6:4 – Philistines Propose an Offering
The Philistines propose a peculiar offering to appease God for afflicting them with plagues.
“Then said they, ‘What shall be the expiation of guilt which we shall pay unto him? They answered, ‘Five golden hemorrhoids and five golden rats, according to the number of the cardinals of the Philistines, for the same plague that is on you is also on your cardinals.'”
Galatians 5:12 – A Sharp Rebuke
Paul expresses his frustration with those who are unsettling the Galatians, wishing they would go further and emasculate themselves.
“I wish those who are disturbing you might also get themselves castrated!”
Joshua 13:1 – Joshua’s Old Age
The Lord reminds Joshua of his advanced age and instructs him regarding the remaining unconquered territories.
“Now Joshua was old and advanced in years when the Lord said to him, ‘You are old and advanced in years.'”
Song of Songs 2:4 – A Cry for Love
The speaker longs for love and refreshment from their beloved.
“Refresh me with apples, sustain me with raisin cakes, For I am lovesick.”
Proverbs 11:22 – A Wasted Beauty
This proverb compares the lack of discretion in a beautiful woman to a gold ring in a pig’s snout.
“Like a gold ring in a pig’s snout is a beautiful woman who shows no discretion.”
Proverbs 27:15 – A Nagging Wife
A quarrelsome wife is compared to the incessant dripping of a leaky roof during a rainstorm.
“A quarrelsome wife is like the dripping of a leaky roof in a rainstorm.”
Proverbs 21:9 – Better Solitude Than Conflict
This proverb suggests that it is preferable to live alone in a corner of a roof than to share a house with a quarrelsome wife.
“Better to live on a corner of the roof than share a house with a quarrelsome wife.”
Proverbs 21:19 – Escaping Discord
It is better to dwell in a desolate wilderness than with a contentious and vexatious woman.
“Better to live in a desert than with a quarrelsome and nagging wife.”
Acts 2:15 – Disciples Not Drunk
Peter refutes the notion that the disciples are intoxicated, explaining that it is only the third hour of the day.
“For these people are not drunk, as you suppose, since it’s only nine in the morning.”
Judges 7:5 – God’s Selection Criteria
God instructs Gideon to select his warriors based on their method of drinking water, demonstrating His power through their obedience.
“Separate everyone who laps water with his tongue like a dog. Do the same with everyone who kneels to drink.”
Mark 14:52 – Fleeing Naked
A young man flees naked from the Garden of Gethsemane after Jesus’ arrest.
“… he fled naked, leaving his garment behind.”
Matthew 21:18 – Cursing the Fig Tree
Jesus curses a fig tree for not bearing fruit out of season, causing it to wither immediately.
“Early in the morning, as Jesus was on his way back to the city, he was hungry. Seeing a fig tree by the road, he went up to it but found nothing on it except leaves. Then he said to it, ‘May you never bear fruit again!’ Immediately the tree withered.”
Proverbs 31:6 – Offering Comfort Through Alcohol
This proverb suggests giving alcohol to those in distress or facing death to alleviate their suffering.
“Give beer to one who is dying and wine to one whose life is bitter.”
Isaiah 36:12 – Taunting Enemies
The Assyrian commander taunts the defenders of Jerusalem with the grim prospect of famine during a siege.
“But the commander replied, ‘Was it only to your master and you that my master sent me to say these things, and not to the people sitting on the wall—who, like you, will have to eat their own excrement and drink their own urine?'”
1 Samuel 28:7 – Saul Seeks a Medium
Desperate for guidance, Saul seeks out a medium to consult with the deceased prophet Samuel.
“Saul then said to his advisers, ‘Find a woman who is a medium, so I can go and ask her what to do.'”
Psalm 137:9 – Vengeance Against Babylon
This psalm expresses a desire for vengeance against Babylon for their cruelty toward the Israelites.
“Happy is he who takes your little ones and dashes them against the rocks.”
Exodus 32:24 – Aaron’s Excuse
Aaron tries to deflect blame for the creation of the golden calf onto the Israelites.
“So I told them, ‘Whoever has any gold jewelry, take it off.’ Then they gave me the gold, and I threw it into the fire, and out came this calf!”
Job 10:10 – Poetic Reflection on Creation
Job uses metaphorical language to express his sense of being molded and shaped by God.
“Did you not pour me out like milk and curdle me like cheese?”
Song of Solomon 4:2 – Praising a Lover’s Beauty
In this verse, the lover admires the pristine appearance of their beloved’s teeth.
“Your teeth are like a flock of sheep just shorn, coming up from the washing.”
The Nephilim are introduced, being the result of unions between the “sons of God” and the “daughters of men.”
“The Nephilim were on the earth in those days—and also afterward—when the sons of God went to the daughters of humans and had children by them. They were the heroes of old, men of renown.”
John 21:25 – Limitless Works of Jesus
This verse reflects on the countless deeds performed by Jesus during His earthly ministry.
“Jesus did many other things as well. If every one of them were written down, I suppose that even the whole world would not have room for the books that would be written.”
Genesis 25:30 – Esau’s Hunger
Esau, feeling famished, requests some of Jacob’s red stew.
“He said to Jacob, ‘Let me gulp down some of that red stuff; I’m starving.'”
Ecclesiastes 10:19 – Enjoyment of Life
This proverb highlights the joy and merriment found in feasting, wine, and wealth.
“A feast is made for laughter, wine makes life merry, and money is the answer for everything.”
2 Kings 2:23-24 – Elisha and the Mockers
Elisha curses a group of disrespectful youths who mock him for being bald, resulting in them being mauled by bears.
“From there Elisha went up to Bethel. As he was walking along the road, some boys came out of the town and jeered at him. ‘Get out of here, baldy!’ they said. ‘Get out of here, baldy!’ He turned around, looked at them and called down a curse on them in the name of the Lord. Then two bears came out of the woods and mauled forty-two of the boys.”
Deuteronomy 23:2 – Exclusion from the Assembly
Those with damaged or removed genitals are prohibited from entering the assembly of the Lord.
“No one whose testicles have been crushed or whose penis has been cut off may be admitted into the community of the Lord.”
Proverbs 21:9 (Repeat) – Better Solitude Than Conflict
This proverb reiterates the wisdom of living in isolation rather than enduring constant strife.
“Better to live on a corner of the roof than share a house with a quarrelsome wife.”
Ezekiel 4:12-15 – Unorthodox Baking Instructions
Ezekiel is allowed to use cow dung instead of human waste to fuel his cooking fire during his symbolic actions.
“Very well,’ he replied, ‘I allow you cow’s dung in place of human excrement; bake your bread on that.”
Genesis 22:20-21 – Family of Nahor
Abraham’s nephew Nahor has sons named Uz and Buz, among others.
“Now it came about after these things, that it was told Abraham, saying, ‘Behold, Milcah also has borne children to your brother Nahor: Uz his firstborn and Buz his brother.'”
These diverse passages offer glimpses into the richness of the Bible, showcasing its depth of narrative, wisdom, and even humor.
Also Read : How Old Was Moses When He Died?
Laughable Verses We Can All Relate To
Proverbs 11:12 – On Loving Our Neighbours
This verse humorously advises against belittling others, emphasizing the wisdom in remaining silent rather than engaging in hurtful speech.
“It is foolish to belittle one’s neighbor; a sensible person keeps quiet.”
Proverbs 11:22 – Beauty and Discretion
This verse humorously compares a beautiful woman lacking discretion to a gold ring in a pig’s snout, highlighting the importance of inner qualities over mere appearance.
“A beautiful woman who lacks discretion is like a gold ring in a pig’s snout.”
Proverbs 31:6-7 – Alcohol and Troubles
This verse humorously acknowledges the tendency to turn to alcohol in times of distress but reminds us that true solace comes from trusting in God rather than temporary relief.
“Alcohol is for the dying, and wine for those in bitter distress. Let them drink to forget their poverty and remember their troubles no more.”
Ecclesiastes 10:19 – The Deception of Wealth
This verse humorously acknowledges the allure of money and its perceived ability to solve all problems, but warns against prioritizing wealth over spiritual well-being.
“A party gives laughter, wine gives happiness, and money gives everything!”
Acts 2:15 – Misjudging Sobriety
This verse humorously corrects the assumption of drunkenness among a group of people, highlighting the absurdity of such an accusation early in the morning.
“These people are not drunk, as some of you are assuming. Nine o’clock in the morning is much too early for that.”
Galatians 5:12 – Dealing with Troublemakers
This verse humorously expresses frustration with those who spread false teachings, wishing that they would instead harm themselves rather than causing division among believers.
“I just wish that those troublemakers who want to mutilate you by circumcision would mutilate themselves.”
Funny Bible Verses About Love and Marriage
Proverbs 21:9 – The Perils of a Quarrelsome Wife
Living in a lovely home loses its charm when shared with a quarrelsome wife, according to Proverbs 21:9.
“It’s better to live alone in the corner of an attic than with a quarrelsome wife in a lovely home.”
Proverbs 21:19 – Escaping a Quarrelsome Companion
Even the desert seems a preferable abode over enduring a quarrelsome, complaining wife, as suggested in Proverbs 21:19.
“It’s better to live alone in the desert than with a quarrelsome, complaining wife.”
Proverbs 27:15 – The Irritation of Nagging
The annoyance of constant dripping on a rainy day is likened to living with a quarrelsome wife in Proverbs 27:15.
“A quarrelsome wife is as annoying as constant dripping on a rainy day.”
Song of Solomon 2:5 – Love’s Weakening Effect
The speaker in Song of Solomon 2:5 expresses love’s overwhelming power, likening it to weakness and seeking comfort in sweet treats.
“Strengthen me with raisin cakes, refresh me with apples, for I am weak with love.”
Also Read : Why Stay Away From The Book Of Enoch
Out of Context Funny Bible Verses
Proverbs 27:14 On the Impact of Morning Greetings
A loud and cheerful greeting early in the morning will be taken as a curse!
Song of Solomon 4:2 An Exquisite Compliment
Your teeth are as white as sheep, recently shorn and freshly washed. Your smile is flawless, each tooth matched with its twin.
Genesis 25:30 Sibling Banter
Esau said to Jacob, “I’m starved! Give me some of that red stew!”
Joshua 13:1 A Reminder of Unfinished Business
When Joshua was an old man, the Lord said to him, “You are growing old, and much land remains to be conquered.”
John 21:25 The Vastness of Jesus’ Deeds
Jesus also did many other things. If they were all written down, I suppose the whole world could not contain the books that would be written.
Also Read : 65 Bible Verses About Loyalty To Inspire You
Understanding the Bible’s Humor
Even though some people treat the Bible as very boring and too serious, it has always been here for us to find these useful daily resources. Stories relevant to human life can be caught in the words inside them; you can find not only spiritual teachings and their seeds but also laughing moments. Though they make you laugh when seen separately, this is also a part of life that has a significant meaning.
And just like the fact that we don’t fully understand the puns and jokes in the Bible, maybe that’s a sign that we should study and learn its lessons more diligently. Hidden meanings could remind us about God’s and humans’ marvelous humor and the writers’ wisdom. This discovery would be enough to strengthen our connection to this book and affirm it as something very important to us.
Frequently Asked Questions (FAQs)
What is the most hilarious bible verse?
“Behold, I will corrupt your seed, and spread dung upon your faces, even the dung of your solemn feasts; and one shall take you away with it.”
What is a cool Bible verse to quote?
Proverbs 29:25 – Fear of man will prove to be a snare, but whoever trusts in the Lord is kept safe.
What is an awesome short Bible quote?
John 11:35: “Jesus wept.”
1 John 4:8: “God is love.”
What is the best Bible quote?
Jeremiah 29:11 ~ For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope.
random bible verses funny
Proverbs 27:15-16 15 A continual dropping in a very rainy day and a contentious woman are alike.
funny jesus quotes bible
“Behold, I will corrupt your seed, and spread dung upon your faces, even the dung of your solemn feasts; and one shall take you away with it.”.
funny bible sayings
Just as we fully obeyed Moses, so we will obey you.