33 Stupidest Bible Quotes


The Bible, a complex and ancient text, is revered for its profound teachings and wisdom. However, some verses can appear Stupidest or confusing at first glance. These verses, often taken out of context, can lead to misunderstandings and questions about their meanings. In this blog post, we’ll explore 33 of the most Stupidest Bible quotes, providing context and explanations to help you understand their significance.

Stupidest Bible Quotes


Table of Top Stupidest Bible Quotes:

Verse ReferenceVerse (KJV)
Leviticus 11:20-23All fowls that creep, going upon all four…
Deuteronomy 25:11-12When men strive together one with another…
2 Kings 2:23-24Go up, thou bald head…

List of 33 Stupidest Bible Quotes:

Stupidest Bible Quotes

1. Leviticus 11:20-23 – Insects with Four Legs
All fowls that creep, going upon all four, shall be an abomination unto you. Yet these may ye eat of every flying creeping thing that goeth upon all four, which have legs above their feet, to leap withal upon the earth; Even these of them ye may eat; the locust after his kind, and the bald locust after his kind, and the beetle after his kind, and the grasshopper after his kind. But all other flying creeping things, which have four feet, shall be an abomination unto you.
Explanation: This verse can be confusing as insects do not have four legs. It likely refers to the way these insects move, which can appear to involve four legs. Understanding the historical and cultural context of ancient dietary laws can provide clarity.

2. Deuteronomy 25:11-12 – Unusual Punishment
When men strive together one with another, and the wife of the one draweth near for to deliver her husband out of the hand of him that smiteth him, and putteth forth her hand, and taketh him by the secrets: Then thou shalt cut off her hand, thine eye shall not pity her.
Explanation: This harsh punishment reflects the importance of modesty and decorum in ancient Israelite society. It underscores the seriousness with which personal boundaries and respect were treated.

3. 2 Kings 2:23-24 – Elisha and the Bears
And he went up from thence unto Bethel: and as he was going up by the way, there came forth little children out of the city, and mocked him, and said unto him, Go up, thou bald head; go up, thou bald head. And he turned back, and looked on them, and cursed them in the name of the Lord. And there came forth two she bears out of the wood, and tare forty and two children of them.
Explanation: This passage is often seen as troubling due to its violent nature. It highlights the importance of respecting God’s prophets and the severe consequences of disrespect in the historical context.

4. Judges 3:21-22 – Eglon’s Death
And Ehud put forth his left hand, and took the dagger from his right thigh, and thrust it into his belly: And the haft also went in after the blade; and the fat closed upon the blade, so that he could not draw the dagger out of his belly; and the dirt came out.
Explanation: This graphic description of Eglon’s death emphasizes the cunning and bravery of Ehud. The verse serves to highlight the dramatic and often brutal methods employed in Israel’s early history to achieve deliverance from oppression.

5. Genesis 19:26 – Lot’s Wife Turned to Salt
But his wife looked back from behind him, and she became a pillar of salt.
Explanation: This verse serves as a cautionary tale about disobedience and looking back at sinful pasts. It underscores the importance of heeding divine warnings and commands.

6. Exodus 4:24-26 – Zipporah and the Bloody Bridegroom
And it came to pass by the way in the inn, that the Lord met him, and sought to kill him. Then Zipporah took a sharp stone, and cut off the foreskin of her son, and cast it at his feet, and said, Surely a bloody husband art thou to me. So he let him go: then she said, A bloody husband thou art, because of the circumcision.
Explanation: This cryptic passage relates to the importance of circumcision in the covenant between God and Israel. Zipporah’s action saved Moses, highlighting the necessity of covenantal obedience.

7. Leviticus 19:19 – Mixing Fabrics
Ye shall keep my statutes. Thou shalt not let thy cattle gender with a diverse kind: thou shalt not sow thy field with mingled seed: neither shall a garment mingled of linen and woollen come upon thee.
Explanation: These regulations symbolized purity and separation for the Israelites. They were intended to maintain distinctiveness in their daily lives and practices.

8. Numbers 22:28-30 – Balaam’s Talking Donkey
And the Lord opened the mouth of the ass, and she said unto Balaam, What have I done unto thee, that thou hast smitten me these three times? And Balaam said unto the ass, Because thou hast mocked me: I would there were a sword in mine hand, for now would I kill thee. And the ass said unto Balaam, Am not I thine ass, upon which thou hast ridden ever since I was thine unto this day? was I ever wont to do so unto thee? And he said, Nay.
Explanation: This miraculous event is meant to convey the message that God can use any means to communicate His will. It underscores Balaam’s stubbornness and lack of spiritual insight.

9. 1 Samuel 18:25-27 – David’s Bride Price
And Saul said, Thus shall ye say to David, The king desireth not any dowry, but an hundred foreskins of the Philistines, to be avenged of the king’s enemies. But Saul thought to make David fall by the hand of the Philistines. And when his servants told David these words, it pleased David well to be the king’s son in law: and the days were not expired. Wherefore David arose and went, he and his men, and slew of the Philistines two hundred men; and David brought their foreskins, and they gave them in full tale to the king, that he might be the king’s son in law. And Saul gave him Michal his daughter to wife.
Explanation: This verse illustrates the extreme measures and expectations of ancient dowry customs. It also highlights David’s bravery and Saul’s attempts to manipulate circumstances to his advantage.

10. Ezekiel 4:12-15 – Ezekiel’s Bread
And thou shalt eat it as barley cakes, and thou shalt bake it with dung that cometh out of man, in their sight. And the Lord said, Even thus shall the children of Israel eat their defiled bread among the Gentiles, whither I will drive them. Then said I, Ah Lord God! behold, my soul hath not been polluted: for from my youth up even till now have I not eaten of that which dieth of itself, or is torn in pieces; neither came there abominable flesh into my mouth. Then he said unto me, Lo, I have given thee cow’s dung for man’s dung, and thou shalt prepare thy bread therewith.
Explanation: This symbolic act by Ezekiel represents the severe conditions and defilement the Israelites would experience during exile. It underscores the seriousness of their disobedience to God.

11. Genesis 6:4 – The Nephilim
There were giants in the earth in those days; and also after that, when the sons of God came in unto the daughters of men, and they bare children to them, the same became mighty men which were of old, men of renown.
Explanation: The Nephilim are a mysterious group mentioned in Genesis. Their origins and significance have been the subject of much debate and interpretation.

12. Deuteronomy 22:28-29 – Marriage after Assault
If a man find a damsel that is a virgin, which is not betrothed, and lay hold on her, and lie with her, and they be found; Then the man that lay with her shall give unto the damsel’s father fifty shekels of silver, and she shall be his wife; because he hath humbled her, he may not put her away all his days.
Explanation: This law reflects the ancient cultural context where marriage was seen as a form of protection for women. It aimed to provide security and restitution for the woman.

13. Exodus 21:20-21 – Slave Beating
And if a man smite his servant, or his maid, with a rod, and he die under his hand; he shall be surely punished. Notwithstanding, if he continue a day or two, he shall not be punished: for he is his money.
Explanation: This verse addresses the treatment of slaves in ancient Israel. It reflects the legal and societal norms of the time, which are vastly different

from modern views on human rights and dignity.

Stupidest Bible Quotes

14. 1 Samuel 15:3 – Destruction of Amalekites
Now go and smite Amalek, and utterly destroy all that they have, and spare them not; but slay both man and woman, infant and suckling, ox and sheep, camel and ass.
Explanation: This command to destroy the Amalekites highlights the severe judgments executed in biblical times. It is often discussed in terms of divine justice and historical context.

15. Numbers 31:17-18 – Captives of War
Now therefore kill every male among the little ones, and kill every woman that hath known man by lying with him. But all the women children, that have not known a man by lying with him, keep alive for yourselves.
Explanation: This passage deals with the aftermath of a battle and reflects the brutal realities of ancient warfare. It is crucial to understand it within its historical and cultural context.

16. Leviticus 19:27 – Hair Cutting
Ye shall not round the corners of your heads, neither shalt thou mar the corners of thy beard.
Explanation: This verse is part of the Holiness Code, which included various laws to set the Israelites apart from other nations. It emphasizes the importance of cultural and religious identity.

17. Deuteronomy 21:18-21 – Rebellious Son
If a man have a stubborn and rebellious son, which will not obey the voice of his father, or the voice of his mother, and that, when they have chastened him, will not hearken unto them: Then shall his father and his mother lay hold on him, and bring him out unto the elders of his city, and unto the gate of his place; And they shall say unto the elders of his city, This our son is stubborn and rebellious, he will not obey our voice; he is a glutton, and a drunkard. And all the men of his city shall stone him with stones, that he die: so shalt thou put evil away from among you; and all Israel shall hear, and fear.
Explanation: This harsh law underscores the severity with which ancient Israel dealt with rebellion and disobedience. It reflects the importance of maintaining order and discipline within the family and community.

18. 2 Samuel 12:31 – Forced Labor
And he brought forth the people that were therein, and put them under saws, and under harrows of iron, and under axes of iron, and made them pass through the brickkiln: and thus did he unto all the cities of the children of Ammon. So David and all the people returned unto Jerusalem.
Explanation: This passage describes David’s treatment of the Ammonites after their defeat. It illustrates the harsh realities of ancient warfare and the methods used to subjugate conquered peoples.

19. 1 Kings 3:24-25 – Solomon’s Wisdom
And the king said, Bring me a sword. And they brought a sword before the king. And the king said, Divide the living child in two, and give half to the one, and half to the other.
Explanation: This famous story of Solomon’s wisdom demonstrates his cleverness in revealing the true mother of a disputed child. It highlights the importance of discernment and justice in leadership.

20. Ezekiel 23:19-20 – Lewdness
Yet she multiplied her whoredoms, in calling to remembrance the days of her youth, wherein she had played the harlot in the land of Egypt. For she doted upon their paramours, whose flesh is as the flesh of asses, and whose issue is like the issue of horses.
Explanation: This graphic metaphor describes Israel’s unfaithfulness to God through idolatry. It uses shocking imagery to convey the seriousness of their spiritual adultery.

21. Hosea 1:2 – Hosea’s Marriage
The beginning of the word of the Lord by Hosea. And the Lord said to Hosea, Go, take unto thee a wife of whoredoms and children of whoredoms: for the land hath committed great whoredom, departing from the Lord.
Explanation: God commands Hosea to marry a prostitute as a symbolic act to illustrate Israel’s unfaithfulness. This prophetic action demonstrates the depth of Israel’s spiritual adultery and God’s enduring love.

22. Mark 11:13-14 – Cursing the Fig Tree
And seeing a fig tree afar off having leaves, he came, if haply he might find anything thereon: and when he came to it, he found nothing but leaves; for the time of figs was not yet. And Jesus answered and said unto it, No man eat fruit of thee hereafter for ever. And his disciples heard it.
Explanation: Jesus’ cursing of the fig tree symbolizes the judgment on unfruitfulness, particularly in relation to Israel’s spiritual state. It serves as a lesson on the importance of genuine faith and productivity.

23. 1 Corinthians 11:14-15 – Hair Length
Doth not even nature itself teach you, that, if a man have long hair, it is a shame unto him? But if a woman have long hair, it is a glory to her: for her hair is given her for a covering.
Explanation: Paul discusses cultural norms regarding hair length to address issues of propriety and gender distinctions in the Corinthian church. These guidelines were meant to reflect social order and respectability.

24. Matthew 27:52-53 – Saints Raised to Life
And the graves were opened; and many bodies of the saints which slept arose, And came out of the graves after his resurrection, and went into the holy city, and appeared unto many.
Explanation: This passage describes a miraculous event following Jesus’ resurrection. It signifies the power of His resurrection and the hope of eternal life.

25. 1 Timothy 2:12 – Women in Leadership
But I suffer not a woman to teach, nor to usurp authority over the man, but to be in silence.
Explanation: Paul’s instructions reflect the cultural context of the early church and its views on gender roles. This verse has been the subject of much debate and interpretation regarding women’s roles in ministry.

26. Genesis 38:9-10 – Onan’s Sin
And Onan knew that the seed should not be his; and it came to pass, when he went in unto his brother’s wife, that he spilled it on the ground, lest that he should give seed to his brother. And the thing which he did displeased the Lord: wherefore he slew him also.
Explanation: Onan’s act of not fulfilling his levirate duty to his brother’s widow was seen as disobedience and selfishness. This passage emphasizes the importance of family loyalty and duty in ancient Israel.

27. Matthew 5:29-30 – Plucking Out the Eye
And if thy right eye offend thee, pluck it out, and cast it from thee: for it is profitable for thee that one of thy members should perish, and not that thy whole body should be cast into hell. And if thy right hand offend thee, cut it off, and cast it from thee: for it is profitable for thee that one of thy members should perish, and not that thy whole body should be cast into hell.
Explanation: Jesus uses hyperbolic language to emphasize the seriousness of sin and the lengths one should go to avoid it. The metaphor underscores the importance of spiritual purity and integrity.

28. 2 Samuel 6:6-7 – Uzzah’s Death
And when they came to Nachon’s threshingfloor, Uzzah put forth his hand to the ark of God, and took hold of it; for the oxen shook it. And the anger of the Lord was kindled against Uzzah; and God smote him there for his error; and there he died by the ark of God.
Explanation: Uzzah’s death highlights the holiness of God and the sacredness of the Ark of the Covenant. It serves as a warning about the proper reverence and respect for holy things.

29. 1 Kings 20:35-36 – The Prophet’s Disobedience
And a certain man of the sons of the prophets said unto his neighbour in the word of the Lord, Smite me, I pray thee. And the man refused to smite him. Then said he unto him, Because thou hast not obeyed the voice of the Lord, behold, as soon as thou art departed from me, a lion shall slay thee. And as soon as he was departed from him, a lion found him, and slew him.
Explanation: This passage demonstrates the seriousness of obeying God’s commands, even when they seem unusual or harsh. The prophet’s fate serves as a cautionary tale about the consequences of disobedience.

30. Jonah 1:17 – Swallowed by a Great Fish
Now the Lord had prepared a great fish to swallow up Jonah. And Jonah was in the belly of the fish three days and three nights.
Explanation: Jonah’s experience in the belly of the fish is a miraculous event illustrating God’s power and the importance of obedience to His will. It also symbolizes death, burial, and resurrection.

31. Genesis 19:8 – Lot Offers His Daughters
Behold now, I have two daughters which have not known man; let me, I pray you, bring them out unto you, and do ye to them as is good in your eyes: only unto these men do nothing; for therefore came they under the shadow of my roof


Explanation: Lot’s offer reflects the extreme importance of hospitality in ancient Near Eastern culture. It also highlights the moral complexities and challenges faced by individuals in difficult situations.

32. Judges 11:30-31 – Jephthah’s Vow
And Jephthah vowed a vow unto the Lord, and said, If thou shalt without fail deliver the children of Ammon into mine hands, Then it shall be, that whatsoever cometh forth of the doors of my house to meet me, when I return in peace from the children of Ammon, shall surely be the Lord’s, and I will offer it up for a burnt offering.
Explanation: Jephthah’s rash vow leads to tragic consequences, underscoring the importance of careful and thoughtful promises, especially those made to God.

33. Matthew 27:5 – Judas’ Death
And he cast down the pieces of silver in the temple, and departed, and went and hanged himself.
Explanation: The tragic end of Judas Iscariot, who betrayed Jesus, serves as a somber reminder of the consequences of betrayal and the depths of despair.


Conclusion:


These puzzling Bible verses often leave readers scratching their heads, but they provide valuable lessons when understood in their historical and cultural contexts. By studying these verses more deeply, we can gain a richer understanding of the Bible’s teachings and the complexities of its narratives.


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